Your inner critic. Think of all the things that happen in a day, and the opposition you encounter. You forgot to pay a bill, disappointed your partner or reacted impulsively. Is your inner critic your constant companion? Negative self-talk is draining, spending energy you could be applying towards more positive things. One of the most transformational things you can do is befriend your inner critic. Feedback is important. Checking in with this part can help you know when you’re getting distracted or complacent. Befriending the critic means valuing their opinion, while also requiring that the feedback is given in a respectful way. This means no name calling, shaming, blaming, berating or bullying.
Being hard on yourself affects all your relationships. You may already be in information overload from your self-talk, decreasing your capacity to accept external feedback. This puts others in a hard position. The simplest thing they share about something you’ve done can feel like the last straw when it lands on top of the criticism you’ve been piling up for yourself. I’m encouraging you to switch things up. Create a role model for yourself – someone who is encouraging and uplifting. Think of the ways they encourage others and use that language. When the inner critic says,”You’re a hot mess,” change your narrative to “I can’t change that it happened. What I can do, is take responsibility.” Thank your inner critic for being the kind of friend that has your back and tells you the hard truth while loving you through it. Then keep practicing and watch what happens!